Random Thoughts on Guardians of the Galaxy

Pretend that you're not at a TV right now and you get a text from a friend that Stephen Curry is starting to heat up from downtown in a big playoff game.  Now picture the urgency with which you would drop everything that you were doing and run to a TV to turn on TNT as fast as you could.  That same sense of urgency is the sense of urgency that you need to have to run to theaters and go watch Guardians of the Galaxy. Seriously.  The movie came out just this Friday and I saw it today.  It was an experience so incredible that I felt compelled to bring back this blog, which I haven't used in over 8 months, in fact which I haven't used at all this calendar year, just to rave about it.  So without further ado, here some of my random thoughts on the magnificence that was Guardians of the Galaxy.  And I'm breaking them down into a "spoiler-free" section and a "possible spoilers" (section just in case you haven't seen it yet and don't want my rambling heinie ruining it for you.

SPOILER-FREE THOUGHTS

• Wow, Chris Pratt! What a job he did playing Peter Quill a.k.a. Star Lord.  Pratt's portrayal of Quill didn't fit into the traditional hero archetype but that was the best part.  He took all the awesome aspects of other heroes, super or not, and blended them into one breathtaking character concoction.  The technology of Batman, the dry wit and general badass-ery of Iron Man, the genetic freak narrative of Superman, the audacity of Han Solo, the almost anti-hero persona of Hancock, the humor and the literal looks of Seth Rogen... OK maybe this description tailed off a bit at the end, but Chris Pratt's Peter Quill was nothing short of phenomenal.  Well done.

• What is with this whole thing of hyper-intelligent, weapons competent, talking animals in cinema lately? Yeah, I'm talking about you Rocket Raccoon! Maybe it's because the last movie I saw before this was Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.  But nevertheless, Rocket might have been my favorite character in the movie and was the only character that could manage to match, and even sometimes, surpass Star Lord's wit.  He blew that dinky raccoon from Pocahontas right out of the water.

• Favorite quote from the movie: "I come from a land of outlaws.  Bonnie and Clyde.  Billy the Kid.  John Stamos."
• Second favorite quote from the movie: "You think you can seduce me with your pelvic sorcery?" Oh man, that sounds like it was picked right from some uptight music critic's review of Elvis from the 1950s.
• I especially loved this film for the cast! Especially Michael Rooker, a.k.a Merle from the Walking Dead! I think I loved him so much because his character, Yondu, was basically Merle with blue skin.  The volatility, the way he calls Star Lord "boy," that little chuckle he does.  Vintage Merle right there! Only this time, he magically grew his right hand back and had a Mr. T haircut. Awesome.

MERLE!!!!

• And going off that, it was nice to see what Rooker was like playing a character in charge.  In The Walking Dead universe, he always played second fiddle, whether it be to the Governor, to Rick, or even to his brother.  Cool seeing him as the head honcho this time around.  And in true Dixon fashion, his weapon of choice was an arrow.  I LOVE IT!
• Another AMC veteran in this film was the main bad guy, Ronan, played by Lee Pace, a.k.a. Joe MacMillan in Halt and Catch Fire.  Man, this film was essentially the AMC alums with different colored skin.  Made for quite the convincing villain though.  Didn't have quite the charm of Joey Mac but he had a Darth Sidious look going on and put on quite a show.

• And oh man, the soundtrack! All these throwback 70s and 80s R&B/rock goodies.  The tunes lifted the film from "amazing" to "transcendent."  More to come in the spoilers sections if you want some specifics on what songs played.
• Groot's definitely on my team for the zombie apocalypse.  Guy can do everything and most importantly he can regenerate.  His auto-cannibalism might be a bit of a problem though.
• Zoe Saldana with green skin? I didn't feel it that much.  But she did play a damn good Gamora though.

• Meanwhile, Gamora's sister Nebula looked like 2007 Britney Spears.  Yeah.

• What isn't Bradley Cooper in? I swear, he's the John Goodman of our generation.
• One of the characters resembled one of the goblins that runs Gringotts in Harry Potter.  I got a kick out of that.
• NO WAY!!! THAT WAS BATISTA!!!!!???

• The whole ragtag team of misfits model is becoming a bit cliche nowadays but Guardians really pulled it off well. 
• Going off that, the Guardians of the Galaxy were a pretty epic 5 man superhero team.  But I think they're still my second favorite 5 man hero squad of all-time.

• I couldn't take Ronan and Thanos seriously though.  I kept calling them "Ronan Atkinson" and "Thanos Antetokounmpo in my head." Anybody else have that problem?
• I really liked how the movie didn't fall into the trap of cliche love scenes and cliche motivational speeches.  In fact, it even spoofed them at times which was brilliant.
• And I love, love, loved how they didn't overly rely on special effects.  Don't get me wrong, special effects were a big part of this movie but one of the reasons why I can't stand Zack Snyder movies (and heck, we'll throw Michael Bay into the discussion too) is because the reliance on special effects is so heavy that it detracts from the film as a whole.  Not a problem here.  They found a perfect balance.
• Had to shake the image of the StubHub tree from my head to properly appreciate Groot.  Just saying.

• Those raccoons that hang out in my backyard every now and then are welcome now.  Raccoons have been through a lot.  This movie opened my eyes to that.
• I have a short attention span (I can only watch half hour shows on Netflix with regularity) and even if this film ran for over 2 hours, it kept my attention all throughout and I only checked my watch twice.  I'm usually in the 10-12 range and my all-time record is somewhere around 4369 when I watched King Kong in 2005 and drank too much soda.
• The whole thing had a poor man's Star Wars vibe about it.  And I mean that in the best possible way when I say "poor man's."  Because Star Wars is pretty darn good in case you didn't get the Memo Ochoa.
• I almost left while the end credits were rolling.  Then I remembered it was a Marvel movie.  The moments after I realized it looked something like this.

• And I didn't even see this film in 3D and it was still amazing.

POSSIBLE SPOILER THOUGHTS

• Going back to the soundtrack because that was really groovy.  We had some David Bowie in the building, we had Marvin Gaye, we had Joan Jett.  Even that Pina Colada song that Taco Bell ruined/reinvigorated.  

• There's always that snarky laugh in the theater whenever Stan Lee's cameo comes up.  Never gets old.
• The Kevin Bacon "Footloose" references were fantastic.  Also kinda reminded me of the part in "Summer Girls" where Rich Cronin goes "I like Kevin Bacon, but I hate Footloose."  Heck, I think I'm gonna listen to both songs now.  Excuse me for a minute.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK HAD A BUNCH OF HITS

• And now I know where the song that Tupac sampled on "Keep Ya Head Up" comes from.  Thank you Marvel.
• Heck, I almost stood up and started dancing in the aisles when they played "I Want You Back."  A good rule of thumb for me is if Michael Jackson's involved, I'm on board.
• Star Lord gave the Mike Scioscia middle finger!! Could this film get any better??

• I wasn't too sold on the orb being the most powerful thing in the universe.  It looked like something you buy from Pottery Barn for crying out loud.
• And I was a bit bummed about "Spirit In The Sky" being in the previews but not in the movie.  I had the exact same gripe with "Communication Breakdown" and American Hustle.  Isn't this some sort of false advertising or something? Nevertheless, the rest of the movie more than made up for that minor lapse.
• That scene where Star Lord got a bath in orange water in prison reminded me of Drake's bit on Blake Griffin and the Cheetos at the ESPYs.  Great stuff.

CHEETOS

• No raccoons or tree creatures were harmed in the making of this film." I thought that was gold, Jerry.  Gold.
• Howard the Duck at the end!!!! The perfect icing on the cake of awesomeness.  I love me some bad movies and Howard the Duck is the most gloriously bad movie of all-time.  It was phenomenal.

In conclusion, Guardians of the Galaxy was nothing short of a religious experience.  If you haven't seen it yet, what the heck are you waiting for?!! Go, go, go!!! Definitely the movie of the summer and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that it has officially taken over the title of my favorite Marvel movie of all-time.  Not many films have the ability to compel me to resurrect a blog that's been dormant for nearly a year.  And who knows.  Maybe this will start a new period of activity for me here on this blog.  And it's all thanks to Guardians of the Galaxy.  Best damn movie I've seen in a long, long time.